Yahoo Group Frequently Asked Questions
Listed by Subject
Anonymity:
These are anonymous meetings, which means that we use first names (or Craft names) only. We do not tell people outside the group who our members are. We do not tell others what we hear in these meetings. The motto is "What you hear here, let it stay here." This discussion group needs to be a safe place for all of us so if we ever hear of anyone gossiping about what goes on in these meetings they will be bared from the group.
Children:
Children under age 18 are not allowed to attend these meetings, not even with adult supervision and not even with the permission of their parents. These meetings are for adults only. We discuss difficult issues and these are not appropriate subjects for children to hear.
All Spiral Steps meetings are "non-cross talk" meetings. We keep the focus on ourselves and use "I" messages.
I Messages (Example): Let's say someone shares in a meeting that they are unhappy in their marriage and that they might wish to get a divorce. We can say something like this: “I thought about getting a divorce once and I did such and such and it worked for me”. This keeps the focus on us and allows us to share our experience strength and hope.
What we do not do is something like this: “Well, I think that you should do such and such”. Do you see the difference? The one share uses “I messages” and is respectful. The other share uses “You messages” and violates the boundaries we set in group.
Ethics:
We all have rules and beliefs we live by. Whether we call it our “path”, or refer to it as spirituality, philosophy, ideology, faith, practice, or belief, the people in this group respect these basic ethics.
1. We recognize that all beings are connected in the web of life and that the choices we make matter in both ways we can see and in ways we can't.
2. We celebrate the changing of the seasons and the important moments in our lives according to our chosen path, tradition, faith, or philosophy.
3. We believe in spiritual, legal, and social equality between men and women.
4. We stand against discrimination based on skin color, religion, age, gender, disability, nationality, or lifestyle.
5. Our practice includes self-acceptance, understanding, and compassion. We treat other people, and ourselves, with respect.
6. We have a reverence for Earth and her creatures. We believe that it is important to protect and heal the environment. We try to "step lightly" on the earth and to live in harmony with nature.
7. We have a desire to help those in need and to be a force for good. We believe it's important both to do good and to enjoy life.
8. Our practice is a source of joy, comfort, empowerment, and growth.
9. We believe that each and every human being is ultimately responsible for his or her own actions and choices. We endeavor to make choices for ourselves that are wise, healthy, and responsible.
10. We respect the beliefs of others. We believe that each person will find the path that is right for him or her and we do not claim that our way is the one, true or right way. We offer information on our own path to those who are interested but we do not proselytize.
11. We honor our own cultural heritage and we celebrate diversity.
Lurking:
Yes,
you can lurk here - you do not have to share.
That said, I would add that this is a support group and we are here to give, as
well as receive. In other words, we can use everyone's experience, strength and
hope as we work the Steps.
A group is stronger when it has the wisdom and experience of many different
voices. So, when possible, it would help if members could add their shares when
they are ready and able to do so.
Meeting Focus:
Spiral Steps groups are for people who are working to become healthier people overall
Topics can include:
Codependency * alcohol, drugs, food, money & sex issues * mentoring & parenting * dysfunctional family, work or group issues * surviving & recovering from physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual abuse * relationships and/or break-ups * grieving & letting go * making amends * anger, forgiveness & empowerment * setting boundaries & conflict resolution *
Spiral Steps groups are also excellent support groups for those of us trying to be healthy people in an unhealthy culture.
We focus on both the problem and the solution. The emphasis is on recovery, health, balance, and taking our power back.
Meeting Times for Chat:
Spiral Steps On-line Chat typically meets from 8 p.m. on Wednesday nights.
This group is for open to anyone who respects the ethics outlined above.
Both our “real world” and our cyber meetings include a mix of peoples such as Pagans (all sorts), Secular Humanists, Christians, Jews, Goddess Celebrants, Buddhists, Hindus, Druids, Native Americans, Taoists, Gaians, etc. As a group, we support inter-faith work and tolerance.
People who identify as gay, straight, bisexual, and/or those who live as celibate are welcome here.
The only requirements for membership are a desire for health and healing and a respect for the ethics outlined in this FAQ.
Sharing On-line:
This is a recovery & support group - a 24-hour meeting,
if you will. We've designed it to keep the focus on ourselves, our
recovery and on supporting each other.
Here is an example of how to share, keeping the focus on yourself:
"Hi, I'm Dj. I had a hard day today and I used (meditation, ritual,
prayer, talking with a friend, meetings, exercise, etc.) to get me through
it. This is how it worked for me...."
"Or, I'm having a hard day today. What do you folks do to handle
anger?"
Notice the "I messages" here. This also opens the door for
people to say specifically what they do that works for them.
Share your experience, strength, and hope.
Share what you do specifically, and how you to it to make yourself
wiser, stronger and more in tune. It's fine to share your
faith/practice/tradition/ethics here - this is a place where we can all be
"out" about who and what we truly are. Share your troubles and
worries and challenges. Keep the focus on yourself and your healing.
In other words, talk about your religion/practice/philosophy all you want, but
keep it in context.
Tolerance:
Trashing someone else’s faith or belief system will not be tolerated here.
If you have actually been abused in a church, circle, temple
or group then feel free to share that, along with the ways you are trying to
heal. Again, be specific about your
experience and don't use bigoted phrases like “All Christians/Pagans/Whatever/
are X".
Also, people who are gay, straight, single, married or people in polyamorous
households are welcome here. Men,
women, and transgender folks are welcome here.
(Please note: How consenting adults choose to live and love is none of
our concern, as long as they do not hurt themselves or others.)
Thank you, all for attending and supporting this group.
Dj
Founder, Spiral Steps
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